Materialistic World.

We live in a world where we replace everything. My Dad grew up in the 1960’s and still has both of the cars he owned back then. My parents both have many items in there house that have been passed down as time progresses. Then there is my generation. I have a few items that I will never, ever get rid of. My starburst sapphire ring from my Grandmother, my flute, my Saint Christopher medallion from my Father, and my childhood stuffed animal. These things I would trade in for the world. But, everything else seems so replaceable. I’m only 23 and I am already on my second “brand new, off the lot” car. I had my first 2008 Kia Spectra in 2007, for four years. Now I moved onto my 2013 Kia Soul last October. My spectra probably could have been fixed, but I chose to upgrade. My laptop, I insist on buying a new Apple Macbook Pro when I’m sure the handy work of my boyfriend could easily fix my compaq. Ipods, I’m on my third since I was 16. Phones, I have a perfect condition iPhone 4, yet I am coming up with new excuses every day to upgrade as soon as the new iPhone (5S or 6) comes out. Don’t even get me started on clothes. Too my advantage, I’ve lost enough weight to have to buy new clothes every other month or so. But if I really think about it, does it make any sense at all to buy a VS hoodie for a hundred dollars when 6 months from now it will be way too big? Probably not.

My question is how did we as Americans go from the Depression generation who worked hard, scrimped and saved absolutely everything because they wanted to have a nice nest egg turn into my generation who replaces everything, lives pay check to pay check and doesn’t really value the all mighty dollar?
My boyfriend and I are both very big tech nerds and I love staying up to date in the latest trends and fashions. What turned us into such monsters who are spoiled and grow so unhappy with the awesome things we do have in life? Right now I have my iphone in my lap, my ipod touch next to me and in my web browsers I have the Apple Website, the Ugg Website and the LV bag site open. I don’t think I will ever change, but I don’t find myself as bad as others. I save at the least 25% of my paycheck every two weeks, I have my bills paid, I’m not in debt, I have my 401k growing slowly, and my money market CD’s for when I decide to start the next chapter in my life. But it freaks me out to think how my children will be, or even worse, my children’s children.

Atheist Society

I will never understand the whole “Atheist” thing. I understand different religions. I really do. Being brought up Roman Catholic, there has been things that have come up that I don’t totally agree with, but I never have thought “There is no God”. Things happen in life that we have no control over. People get taken when their time is up… It isn’t as punishment when God is ready for us. Yes, it hurts deeply losing someone we love. But what gets us through that hard time is knowing we will some day see them again. When our time here on earth is up, we will be judged and if we did a decent job here on earth, hopefully we will be reunited with our loved ones and spend eternity with them in Heaven.
One of the most depressing things I’ve ever heard someone say was, “Once you’re dead, you’re just a body under ground.” Really? Honestly, how can you even think that way? It shocks me that people can actually live when they have that outlook. People lose parents, siblings, and children every day… How can they go on with life thinking they will never see them again. I couldn’t cope. I would be even more of a wreck than I already am.
I’ve always gone through life by thinking, “Everything happens for a reason.” It really does. I dated losers so I could appreciate an amazing man when I found him. I went to college for radio and I met my soul mate. I lost my job at a crappy office, to find a better job making more money and actually having a future in the business. I lost my Grandma, but she isn’t in pain any more. Everything happens for a reason, and I cannot picture my life with any other outlook.

If you look up Borderline personality disorder in the dictionary, my smiling photo would be next to it.

I have been dating Scott for over three years now. It’s been a battle, like every other relationship. But, in the past years I’ve grown to not only love him for every amazing trait he brings to the table, but also how he carries himself and how he treats and handles me.
I’m not easy to live with, nor be around for any extended period of time. I can barely live with myself most days, that’s why I spend a good 12 hours a day blaring music into my head to drown out the sound of my own pathetic thoughts.
He has to deal with someone who is crabby at least four days out of the week. Somehow he manages to make me laugh, smile, and forget why I was upset. It never worked with anyone else because I don’t want someone to tell me I’m wrong about how I feel, I don’t want someone to shrink me and ask how I feel. All I want is someone to get my mind off the shit and make me happy. And he does that so well.
It isn’t a secret I have major self confidence issues. And the fact that I’m more jealous of a girl he never even dated, as opposed to girls he did, even shocks me. I’ve told him through the years I’m afraid one day the girl he was crushing on is going to wake up and realize what an awesome person he is, and try and come back. And with her being model pretty/skinny, and me being…well, not model pretty/skinny, that he would choose her. He doesn’t fight me that she is both those things. Instead he laughs it off, kisses me and reassures me why he loves me and that he isn’t going any where.
During our first year of our relationship, we had two major break ups. Both times lasted about two weeks. It was the most miserable four weeks of my life. I couldn’t eat, sleep, of even preform daily activities. Obviously we have moved on, and I’ve taken his word that he isn’t going to do it again. It’s been two years since these incidences, and I still get all worked up when we get into a fight and he has to deal with this. Yet, he handles it like a gentleman and insures me he won’t be going any where.
He accepts the fact he is my best friend, and I think I’m his. We don’t have to be queer and get matching “bff” bracelets, although when I think about it…
He loves me more than I love myself. When I’m circling the drain, he keeps my crazy sane. And quiets all the voices in my head.
His family accepts me for who I am, as does mine (for the most part - hence where the crazy comes from.)
He never see’s when other women flirt with him. Thank God. He’s a very attractive man with an incredible personality. Clearly girls are going to be all over him, whether or not he’s awkward around girls, as he says. All women want the good guy. I thank heavens I found him before some other girl did.
He does things he wouldn’t normally partake in, for me. Camping, random trips, watching the Twilight saga with me, and eating organic frozen yogurt with fruit. He never complains, yet, always finds a way for me to enjoy the moments we spend together, even if it’s only an hour.
He isn’t perfect. And I sure as hell am not. But we’re perfect for each other and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.